Some people drink only wine or only beer. Now this is a terrible shame, almost a crime to your tongue and stomach since there are so many other great drinks you must try from time to time. The only thing is when to drink what. Well that’s what we are here for. Lord of the Drink Micky will give you his favorite drinks in various spots.

Beer: beer is football and football is beer. Doesn’t matter if you’re sitting at home watching a match, you are on the way to the stadium or having a PMDS (Pre Match Drinking Session) with your friends, there must always be beer. It takes away some of the tension, but it’s also not that strong that you will miss the whole match.

Wine: the perfect drink for diner parties and restaurants. And not only while you’re still eating. After the food you keep those bottles coming. The full stomach and some good full glasses will give you a sleepy buzz. No problem, you’re not going anywhere anyway.

Whisky: now this is a drink you want in a stripclub or at a poker evening. Both perfect occasions to light up a big cigar too. Picture it: a nice glass of Scotch on the rocks, the sweet smell of cigar smoke and the thrill of spending money on gorgeous women or gaining it with some major bluffing. Life can’t get much sweeter.

Vodka: now this is a drink you don’t drink for the taste. You drink vodka to get hammered. So gather some friends, get some pickles or sour onions and beers with it. Kick back the vodka shots in a steady pace, while you flush them down with some of your sour treats and beer. Now you don’t wanna do this before going out. You don’t wanna be too far from the place you sleep.

Gin: well let’s be honest, the only reason people still buy tonic is because it mixes so well with gin. A great drink to have before going to a club. At home or in a bar, gin-tonic is the way to get yourself in the mood. Also a great drink to start with after a hangover in the morning. Your stomach is probably not ready for beer and tequila yet, but after some gin-tonics you’ll feel reborn and ready to take on every drink in the building.

Rum: the moments I prefer straight rum are the days when it’s too hot to do anything. Find yourself a nice bottle of brown rum and if possible look for the waterside. In a while you probably convinced yourself you’re a fierce pirate. Hell, you might even hijack a boat!

Rum-cola (or whisky-cola): the perfect drink after throwing up. Maybe that last beer, vodka, jagermeister or tequila didn’t fell right n the stomach. Well not to worry, everyone ever puked in his life. It’s how you deal with it afterwards that matters. Now a rum-cola is a perfect way to get back in shape without wasting money on nonalcoholic crap.

Rakia: imagine a long table with good friends, a huge load of food and live Balkan music without rakia. Impossible right?! Whenever you visit the Balkans this is the perfect setting to try the local hard stuff. It improves your appetite in both food and dancing and these two actually improve your drinking skills. It’s a vicious circle, a win-win-situation or whatever you wanna call it. It simply rocks! For the Hungarian pálinka it’s kind of the same story. Although Hungary is not part of the Balkans, their way of consuming their national drink is kind of the same. So is the taste by the way. One last advice on rakia and pálinka: always go for the homemade stuff. Besides the fact that the percentage of alcohol is way higher here, the flavor is usually better too than the ones from the stores.

Ouzo/sambuca/mastika/Turkish raki: this drink with the strong anise flavor goes by many names. Now there are some cocktails or cocktailshots with it, but I prefer the real deal. Usually in combination with food. Before a meal it really brings out your appetite. Another great way is like the Greeks do it, in combination with fresh squid (kalamari) from the grill.

Jagermeister: When you are entering the bar from the cold outside, you might wanna start off with a few jagers. First of all it takes the cold right out of your bones. A great side effect is that it doesn’t take you nearly that long to adept to the atmosphere in the bar as when you’re just drinking beers. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t order beer, just order both. A guy who walks in a bar and orders a large beer and several jager shots will directly earn the respect of the barkeeper and the rest of the crowd. This leads to socializing and isn’t that what going out and drinking is all about?

Tequila: the ultimate shot. Look at it like insulin for a diabetic. The moment you sober up too much, the crowd is dull or for whatever reason you need a boost, this is the moment you should order tequila shots. Yes, plural of course. Guaranteed to bring the party back to life.

Cocktails: not a men’s drink of course, except for one scenario. Have the barkeeper make a strong one and take the shaker and various shot glasses. Now you call the shots, literally. Provide your friends with booze and drink from the shaker yourself. Now this is the manly way to drink cocktails.

Theme drinks: what the hell is theme drinks? Well think of sangria at a Spanish party, caipirinha at a Brazilian, or pisco sour at a Peruvian one. Here’s the deal dude: you’re at a theme party, better go with it. You don’t order just beer or whisky, you just go with the theme or search for another party! That being said it’s of course strongly advised to mix this with other drinks in your stomach.

Absinthe/stroh rum: now these drinks are hardcore, so for emergencies only. You’ve been drinking for quite some days. The beer already has no effect anymore and your normal hard stuff also doesn’t cut it. Well, desperate times call for desperate measures: time to bring out the hard stuff. Beware that the effect of these drinks can be way different than normal drunkenness. You might even start feeling a little high rather than drunk.

Micky Bumbar