Duty free shops at airports are a blessing for everyone who wants to fly drunk.

The number of incidents with drunken passengers on airplanes has increased 12-fold in just 4 years according to the International Air Transport Association. Although the latest figures are from 2011 it’s still impressive. In 2007 there were ‘only’ 500 reported incidents, but 4 years later this number went up to 6.000. Although we wouldn’t want to lead anybody on to spoil other people’s holiday, it is quite a cool experience to fly drunk. Time for a post on how to get hammered while cruising the sky.

A bottle of booze on board makes a flight so much more fun.

When you want to fly drunk there are 2 major things that can spoil the fun. If you show up drunk at the airport security might not let you get on the plane at all. So when boarding you must be able to make a sober impression. Once on the plane you’ll probably see that most companies charge extremely high prices for everything. A simple beer or a mini bottle of liquor costs a small fortune. So getting smashed would probably cost more than the rest of the holiday. And you can’t take stuff from home because security usually confiscates all liquids.

Thank God most airports supply the answer themselves. Most of them have tax free gift shops after you had your luggage check. And even if it’s before you can have a bottle of booze sealed in plastic. That way you are also allowed to bring it on board. Remember to take anything but beer. Unless you love standing in line for the bathroom of course. Once the plane lifts up the happy times can start. You can be sure that turbulence is a lot more fun when you are properly drunk, as well as the landing. To make it even more interesting you can start a drinking game with your neighbours. For example you can take a shot each time a stewardess passes by, each time the seat belt sign switches on or off and each time you hear the captain speaking.

But the absolute best about drunk flying is that you make a great first impression in the country you are flying to. Annoying situations as a long row at the customs don’t bother you anymore. Nor does the fact that you have to wait a long time for your luggage. Getting to your hotel is another great adventure, just like your first quick tour in a strange city. So our advice is to try it next time you’re travelling. Become a member of ‘the other Miles High Club and we guarantee you’ll never want to fly sober again.

Micky Bumbar