Hello boys and girls. Remember that alcohol test we made a few weeks ago? Well, it’s time for the results. Oh I bet you’re shaking like it was a highschool exam. Well we’re not gonna give you the entire list, but just some facts and figures and you can compare your score to that.

First of all we are glad to say that none of you made it to the highest group (120-150 points). Glad? Yes, the Lords of the Drinks hate to tell people to cut down on their drinking. But the fact that nobody made it to this group makes absolute sense. If you would fit the profile, you probably sold your computer to get booze. The 41 people who dared to participate in the test scored an average amount of 35%, which is about 52,5 points. If you scored average (40-59 points) you are a fashionable drunk. You can check the full description of this kind of drinking behavior further down.

Some of you scored significantly higher than average. Hell, you even managed to kick the Lords of the Drinks themselves off the ‘winners platform’. The three with the highest score were CMP (97 points), Iner (96) and Giorgi (93). Since this is the highest safe group we can congratulate you on your drinking skills. All of you are categorized as real boozers (80-99 points). You are also well above the Lords of the Drinks Micky (81) and Nikolay (78). In our defense we are still scoring pretty high compared to many others.

And that brings us to the lower scores. These are the people that should actually ask themselves if they’re enjoying themselves enough in life. Maybe work or school is taking up all your free time. Or maybe you just have other hobbies, who are we to judge? Anyway, here’s the top-3 of non-drinkers: Kala (7 points), Benjy (19) and Heather (21). The last one is hereby labeled as an occasional drunk (20-39 points), but the others we strongly advise to pick up the pace a little.

Well now, you know your own score and you have a basic image of how that compares to the ones of other people. But we also got a lot of reactions through social media like facebook. A lot of people were wondering about the difference in score between our test and the official ones on internet. Well the difference is simple to explain: these tests are made to make you think you have a problem. They come from doctors or rehab clinics. Needless to say we want you to do the opposite. If you function well in society, why shouldn’t you be able to get drunk from time to time? Some of the greatest minds and artists of this earth were heavy drinkers. Just check out our quotes on alcohol topic or our drinkers football team.

So as long as you manage to avoid the first two categories, you should be fine. At least that’s our opinion. But keep in mind that we are no doctors. We are drunkards, so a second opinion probably wouldn’t hurt. Cheers!

The Categories:

120-150 points
We’re sorry to tell you that you are taking drinking to far. Alcohol should be enjoyed and not a drag. Remember: if even the Lords of the Drinks say so, you might have a serious problem.

100-119 points
No doubt you are one hell of a drinker. It’s hard to find competition for you. However, watch out that alcohol doesn’t take over your life. You are close to the real danger zone.

80-99 points
Now this is what we call a real boozer. You know how to hold your liquor and enjoys it to the fullest. You’re in the right place mate.

70-79 points
You are quite a social drunk. You love to go out and love to get shitfaced. Just enjoy it!

60-69 points
You too love to get drunk, although you’re probably not the biggest drinker in your company. Doesn’t matter mate. Having fun is more important. It’s not a competition, drinking should be fun.

40-59 points
Now you are more of a fashionable drunk. Not usually the creator of epic nightlife stories. No problem, you’re there and having fun. Besides there’s only one Oscar to be given for the leading role anyway.

20-39 points
Just an occasionally drunk we presume. You know what it feels like to let yourself go once in a while, but it’s no routine. You clearly have other hobbies or interests that excite you more than drunken fun.

19 points or less
Well you don’t have to worry that you’ll become an alcoholic any time soon. If any, we would advice you drink a little more. Life is stressful enough, so grab a drink once in a while.

Micky Bumbar